bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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