he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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