I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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