This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
