I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
