we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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