we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
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So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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