I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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