OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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