It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
