I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
high people should be assigned attendants
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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