Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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