so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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