Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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