New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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