This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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