So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
