Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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