If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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