I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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