He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
