Grow some girl-balls and come out already
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
