The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
