I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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