is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
