The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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