I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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