she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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