you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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