Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
