Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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