He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
