You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
