please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
