i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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