okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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