piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
