any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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