omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is my gift to your gina
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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