i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
