I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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