I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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