What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
