My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
