You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
