i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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