Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
