Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
