I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
