xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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