Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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