Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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