OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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