You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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