apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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