Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
