Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize