It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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