I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize