i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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