I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i barfeds in our rink
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize