Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
false alarm, still single
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
