i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
